Grubert

Body Massages The “Body Massage” in Thailand, better known as “washing machine” is a nice thing, which everyone should try out. It’s not the medical benefit that is in the “Thai massage” foreground but the sex. What happens: One goes into a large foyer in which the masseuses sit and wait for customers partitioned off by a very large pane of glass. You sit down at a table of couch somewhere and a waitress will turn up and ask you what you would like to drink. The girls normally wear colourful costumes and will smile at you all the time, some with obvious suggestive movements. They all have a sign with a number attached to their dresses for better identification. At some time the manager will turn up and ask you what you wish. At this point it is better to come to agreement on the price – it is always better to know how much it costs beforehand – Some washes have varying prices for the various girl categories (“Superstars” are very expensive but not always better), god knows why!!! There are different systems of paying depending on whether one has booked “all inclusive” or only a massage on its own, in this case the rest has to be agreed upon with the girls themselves. Once having chosen one of the good looking girls you have to let the manager know her number and he will bring her to the table immediately. One can also be advised by letting the manager know what you like. Don’t worry, these lads are not shy and know their job. If you would like to hire a few of the girls simultaneously then ask the manager which of the girls harmonise, which of them are good for a bit of lesbian action etc. However, the best way is to choose a nice girl and ask her personally which of the others her favourite colleague is; things will harmonise best this way. The next step is to pay – always in advance. In general they will also accept credit cards, but with a 10% surcharge. A girl will cost roughly 2000 Baht for the lot (90 – 120 mins including a tip). Your lady will then lead you to a room, which in general is equipped with a huge bath, a blow-up plastic mattress with a slippery surface and a lounger, bed or similar. First of all she will fill the bath with water, now you can order a drink with the girl who serves; the drinks will arrive before the bath is full. Now all will get undressed whereby nice girls will help the man. After a short while the bath will be full of water and bubble bath at the right temperature. After getting in all in the bath will wash you thoroughly, very thoroughly. Subsequent to this the action can commence: Normally it starts off with a blow job (of course without a Johnny, apart from if you want one, which would be stupid). After a while the girl will get the mattress ready by spraying it with water and bubble bath from a large plastic bowl. Now one lies on the mattress and is soaped with this very slippery slithery mixture before the girl lies on top of you. She will now slide up and down on top of you and anyone who has not experienced this sort of thing will be surprised how nice it is. “Body to body” – this is where the name “Body Massage” comes from. Just to make sure one doesn’t get the wrong idea, everyone is naked. What then happens is pure enjoyment, when your thing is standing like an iron bar, which in such a situation cannot really be avoided, you can shove it in where it belongs, or, you enjoy the massage for some time before jumping into bed to round things off. Usually the telephone will ring to indicate that time is up – so now it really is time to shoot ones load. To round things of one is normally give a shower in the bath tub, she will have a good wash too – Thais are the cleanest people I know. After that she will wait for her tip. Depending on how satisfied you are you can give anything up to 500 Baht; one should not be too much of a miser if there had been a good lesbian show (and other special things). Now you leave the room together, the cleaning woman will turn up and get things ready for the next “victim”. Your girl will quickly return to the large aquarium to wait for the next person looking for a bit of pleasure. Pattaya has the most well known and the largest body massage parlours directly all in the same vicinity or better said, opposite each other on the Second Road corner Soi 3, roughly opposite the “Big C” shopping centre. They are called Sabai Dee, Honey2 and Sabai Room. There are also others spread about town. Tip: Never go to these places in a taxi or on a motorbike taxi, the driver will always go into the parlour to collect his commission, which will be added to your bill (tourist thing – Thailand lives from such commission payments) whether you like it or not, could well be anything up to 1000 Baht. A bit of bad news: the service has deteriorated quite a bit. Some only want to blow with rubbers, pathetic. Come to some agreement beforehand. The Pattaya places aren’t nearly as good as those in Bangkok, some of which are world leading. But if you’ve never done this sort of thing before then you will have fun, just try it out.

Massage!? Massage!? 2/2: „others“ Then there are massages or better said massage shops were one isn’t really sure what they’re really for. One or the other has a “Body Massage” sign such as here down Soi Honey at the “Honey 1”. One has to know beforehand what goes on there, word gets around which massages are good and what you get there and what not. Or you have to take note of certain signs, for example if the girl even at a distance pushes her tongue against the inside of her cheek and makes blow movements with her hand in front of her mouth, or, a sign, as above, is more or less held in front of your face, then you know what’s what. You can also be cheeky and ask for “specials” if you’re not sure but are in the mood. Every town has its distinctiveness and areas for certain purposes. In Bangkok the oilies, for example the Mango, Snow White, Tulip etc. In Patong and Phuket the infamous “slut triangle” Soi Kepsap and Pattaya has its massage area Soi Buakhao. This area has improved a hell of a lot over the past few years (will get back to the individual places and where they can be found later). Especially the corners and small streets around the Oasis A Gogo, for example, Soi Honey, Soi Diana Inn and Soi LK Metro are infamous for having only “those” massages to which nobody and I really mean nobody visits for a massage. The purpose of these places is a “happy end”, one shoot one’s load, no matter how. Here you can experience everything. I’ve drawn a small map: Map It’s only serves the purpose as a rough guide but you will find certain pleasures at these places. As I said, even though there is a “massage” sign, it’s all to do with Sex. Here you can read what I experienced there recently: Extract from my diary Almost opposite the Oasis A Gogo down Soi Buakhao is Soi Honey Inn (Soi 11, 2nd Road), you will find quite a few massages here where what happens doesn’t really have much to do with massaging. Obvious movements of the hand indicating a BJ and signs the girls hold up, on the one side is... Thai Massage Oil Massage Foot Massage On the other side Hand Job Blow Job Boom Boom ...for the “victims” who pass by; the sign is simply turned round leaving only little room for speculation. I take a look at a few of the places, unfortunately there are a couple of Korean looking men in front of me who grab the best looking girls; the others aren’t my taste. So, I carry on a bit further down to Soi 25 (corner Oasis Gogo), there are another two such massages here, among others the Cannon Massage which was recommended to me. Further down the back the Lolitas since it moved away from Soi LK Metro. Although the Cannon is not that far down the Soi, I don’t actually make it that far. Outside the “Arree Massage” is a girl with a mouth that I find erotic, she smiles at me. “Massage sir?” she asks, I go in with her, book a one hour oil massage and ask her about “specials”. “Sure, whatyouwant!?” She asks. I tell her I would like a blow job, she agrees and names me the price while holding up four fingers and a thumb on one hand, “HaaRoi” (500). She leads me into a cabin with a massage couch/table, the cabin is made up of a thin curtain hung on an aluminium frame and around the couch/table is just enough room for the masseuse to move around. She leaves the cabin again, “I come back”, she says; “I hope so” I think to myself as I get undressed. When she returns I’m lying down on my back, horny, with a grin on my face, my cock half hard and wondering about what was about to happen. She takes her top off; at first she leaves her panties on but removes them without delay after I tell her to. She has a small firm pair of tits, a shaved fanny and a nice body. Not absolutely fantastic but pretty nice; especially in comparison with the other older girls who shouldn’t be looked at in broad daylight. She’s still smiling and remains nice as we get going. She has a sweet face with a teasing expression around her mouth which spontaneously makes me want to “flow” into it. It’s nice being able to fulfil a desire so quickly with such willing support. It was as if she had been waiting for me to come along and shoot my load in her mouth; as if that’s exactly what she wants. She kneels down between my legs and takes a look at my best part; she’s above it sizing it up before getting her lips around it. She pushes my foreskin back with her lips, sucks it in and gets going. There’s no cleaning beforehand with towels etc. of course I’m clean; just had a shower. She gives it a quick blow before pulling her head back again to take another look as if it’s a large ice cream with a portion of whipped cream on top ready for eating. The girl likes this sort of thing, she longs for pricks. She grabs my hips, or backside, with both hands while I lie on my back with my legs slightly bent and gives my balls a lick. Even while doing this I realise that the girl is hungry for men. Then she comes up again and continues with the blow job. With one of her hands she massages my balls; the place where the sun never shines is looked after too. I press my now extremely hard cock towards the foot end; she slips down willingly and sucks without stopping and without the use of her hands. Then I get up and kneel on the edge of the table and signal that she should kneel down on the floor, she does this straight away. I grab the bottle of massaging oil which is fixed to a dispenser, she opens her hand and I pump a portion of oil into it. I grab her neck gently and place her cheek on my left thigh; the hand with the oil is on my backside ready to massage my ring. I guide her other hand to my crown jewels which she fondles gently. I then grab my throbbing cock with my right hand and wank into her mouth or better said, open lips and wet tongue which is hanging out. First slowly then as everything is as I wish, gradually faster faster. As I hear the “plop - plop - plop - plop” sound I like, which comes from wanking into a half open mouth, I don’t need much longer, I’m loaded and the girl is really good. I can hear the sound well, can probably be heard in the next cabin as well to the one side where they’re also at it. There, there’s probably something similar happening with the difference that they’re at, or have already reached the “howlongyouholiday mister” bit. I’m at the point of no return, my stuff flows into her gob. At first she sucks the stuff in but as it runs out of her mouth due to my wanking movements she holds her hand under it to catch it. I’m holding her neck and first let go when I’ve finished the job. With one half of my babies in her mouth and the other half in her hand which she has stretched out away from her, she leaves the cabin still completely naked. She comes back after only a short time, her hands washed. “Youwanttakeshower?” she asks. I tell her no and that I will have a shower back in my room. 500 + 100 tip change hands, the cashier is at the end of the corridor, she sits there grinning at me. I pay 200 for the oil massage. Although this massage had nothing to do with massaging, everything was to my complete satisfaction. I ask for a goodbye kiss on my cheek and as she does it I turn my mouth towards her, the kiss lands on my lips; we laugh. Is always well received, especially when I put an appalled expression on my face and wipe the back of my hand across my mouth. “Comeagain” she shouts with a dirty look on her face as I leave. That will happen darling!!! However, I have to go to Koh Chang, Chiang Mai, Koh Samui and Bangkok before I return. Especially Bangkok will be exhausting.

Massage!? Massage!? 1/2: „catholic“ Thai Massages at first don’t have anything to do with sex (except for body massages) the traditional Thai massage (and related massages) are much liked amongst tourists, even I like one, two or three hours massage each week. As usual one can get such a massage in one of the numerous massage parlours (signs on almost every corner). It is also possible to have a masseuse come to your hotel room, either one orders one directly at a massage parlour by making an appointment or one orders one through the hotel reception, which in general costs 100 – 200 Baht more (per hour). The hotel receives a commission for getting the masseuse to come around. If you order one yourself it will then have nothing to do with the hotel. Massages are also offered down at the beaches, I don’t like this because everything is sandy and all around you can watch. Quite often you can look through the window and watch customers sitting loungers, for example having a foot massage. Keep away from these parlours, uncomfortable and too public, a bit like an event for stupid people. Arabs like this sort of thing. A rough difference between Thai and oil massages. Thai massage: First of all you ask about the price at the entrance if not shown on a sign. One also asks who will perform the massage if it matters to you whether the masseuse is good looking or not. If you don’t ask you risk being passed on from the good looking girl at the entrance to the old lady with wrestlers’ fingers at the back of the place. Well, a one hour massage in Pattaya should not cost more than 200 Baht. Take a two hour massage; one hour is too short to relax. Quite often you will have your feet washed first, you sit on a chair and the masseuse dips your feet in a bowl of soapy water. One then follows the masseuse to a room, quite often upstairs, which is divided into small cabins with the use of curtains, sometimes gypsum board. One is led into one of the cabins, the curtain is closed from the outside and one is able to get changed without being disturbed: One is provided with a wide floppy pair of “pyjama” trousers and normally a shirt to match. One lies down on the covered mattress, which is mainly on the ground. The masseuse will then ask whether you like it rough or gentle. She will then start massaging, first of all your feet and then up towards your head. Depending on who massages you a conversation will be started. You tell the girl your name, where you come from, the reason for your visit and whether you are married or have a Thai woman. I myself am always polite and give them this information, but in general I just want a massage and shut my eyes. Often one is given a cup of green tea, which one can sip now and again. There are great differences between both the way the massage is carried out and the ability of the “actresses”. I myself am not all that bothered about the girls looks, because all I want is a good massage. I can look at good looking girls later on in the bars. The older women are quite often very good at massaging and know what they are doing; this is something that quite often does not apply to the younger girls - how should they know? Once you have found your masseuse you will find that you will stay with her and book her again. Maybe the next time you can make an appointment with her for a massage in your hotel room. Don’t forget to take the parlours business card with you and note the name of the girl, then you will be able to arrange things the next time over the phone. After getting dressed again you have to pay. You pay on the ground floor before leaving. It is normal to give the masseuse a tip; I always give 100 Baht for two hours. The girls only have a low basic wage and need the tip. The masseuse will hold the door open for you and says thanks. Oil massage: The difference here is that the massage is not carried out “dry” but with the use of oil and maybe with various scents. Apart from that one is naked with a towel only being draped over ones backside. This type of massage is normally gentle and one is not kneaded as much as during a Thai massage. Give it a try. Oil massages are a little more expensive, normally 300 Baht for an hour. One is able to take a shower after the massage. This is more comfortable in one’s own hotel room, but one should put a towel on the bed beforehand to stop the bed getting oily. Sex during a Massage: Yes, this does happen quite often. It is not uncommon that one is gradually “turned on”. Just by coincidence her elbow touches your private parts or during an oil massage certain parts are massaged von behind part where mum would not even think of. I know from my own experience: Such things can lead to one getting a lob-on ;) One can experience all sorts of things in a massage parlour, or nothing all. I myself go for a massage; sex is available at other places. You don’t buy your milk at the butchers do you? On the other hand, if one does get randy then one should not be reluctant. A lot depends on the parlour, in some of them it is a basic principle that nothing like that happens, in others it is normal. I find 500 for a blow job ok; I never pay more than that in a massage parlour. I have even had an anal job for that much, was in Patong (Phuket). Everything is a case of luck and coincidence. Quite often they will offer you a hand job, not my sort of thing, can have a wank on my own and better and cheaper at that. The girls understand. Something else about safety: This has to do with massages and short times in some bars. Always keep your eyes on your stuff, even when you go to the bog or for a shower. I do it this way: I have cash, mobile, cam etc. in my trouser pockets. I roll them up starting at the top; this means that nobody can slip their hand into a pocket. I leave my trousers lying in a corner near my head. In general nothing happens in the massage parlours, 99% of the ST girls are also correct. But “an open door can tempt a saint” so don’t just hang your stuff on the wall when it is possible that someone my reach over and grab it. If you go for a shower simply take your trousers with you as they are, that’s normal and will not make people wonder why. It is not possible to judge what sort of people are around, other tourists, whores, delivery services etc. etc. Tip: Take note of the “Savanna Massage” red-violet coloured advertising sign; they are very good. Everything is clean, nice atmosphere, nice aroma and relaxing background music, nobody gets on your nerves waffling all the time. Prices are low and the best thing, the women there know what they’re doing. Recently I’ve even been going there for a manicure and pedicure, the girls really are good. They have a number of branches in Pattaya, one of them is next to the Dolphin roundabout, another in Naklua and at least two are down the 2nd and Beach Road. In the next part we talk about the "other" massages ...